As I Lay me Down to Sleep...

Words are fascinating. Such little things that letters are, make up tons of words, that make up sentences that make up paragraphs and books and newspapers and they actually have meaning. So weird! Why is the word weird so weird? It’s weird to say and even spelled weird so that people end up seeming weird just by trying to spell the word and being unsuccessful. Speaking of unsuccessful I am still hungry. Yes, I know they seem totally unrelated, however it’s true. Haha! Who do you think tests those makeup products since they supposedly don’t use animals now? Can you imagine those mascara-ed Giraffes and those lipsticked monkeys? I bet the monkeys enjoyed it. I saw the Rise of the Planet of the Apes a few months ago. Those monkeys seemed scary to all of my friends and made them not want to be around monkeys that seem cute but in all actuality will stick you with a shocky stick like they did to Draco Malfoy. It just made me really want a monkey even more than I already did!!!! I will have my own monkey in my own monkey room and we’ll climb trees and finger paint and we’ll be best friends! I’ll train him to fling his poo on command. It’s going to be AWESOME! I want a chicken really bad too. I have the most perfect name EVER, but that is information that is not to be disclosed until a later time. I don’t want it stolen. I think I’d make a great thief! I totally rocked every time I’ve played cops and robbers. Plus I love wearing all black. I think it’s cool. If I ever really meet someone with Turret’s Syndrome I’m going to die laughing. That’s one of the most amusing disorders I’ve ever heard of!!! Randomly shouting profanity. Ha Ha! Those people. Can you imagine them in elevators? Or on a gondola ride in Venice? They’d really be able to blend into society as long as they chose the right location. I mean no one would even know they had a disorder if they were at a hockey game, in standstill traffic in a convertible, or even just playing games in a crowded room. It’s pretty sad that that’s what society is coming to. Those people with Turret’s syndrome don’t even have their own claims anymore. Everyone just does it for fun. How are they going to stand out above the crowd even when they shout out loud? No bueno. My most favorite disorder (yes, I sound very sadistic right now) is multiple personality disorder. They can be anyone, as many as hundreds of different people all in one, simply because the brain is trying to protect itself from things it’s not ready to handle. Haha! It would be so awesome if that applied to other places and things. I think Math has multiple personality disorder. It starts out all normal with just simple numbers, adding, subtracting dividing and multiplying. Then you add other things like letters, which start to screw things all up. Then the real fun comes in when they start even adding imaginary numbers. Really?! They don’t even exist? I argued with my high school Algebra 2/Trig teacher that since he was having me solve imaginary numbers, that didn’t exist, that my homework then became irrelevant because I had a page full of imaginary problem with solutions that were imaginary and therefore did not exist. So my homework didn’t exist. So I deserved an “A” because there really was no homework, and I’d solved their entire imaginary problem. Why worry about problems that don’t exist? :) He told me to shut up, in case anyone was wondering. Psychology gets me through the day. Whenever I get bored or start to get upset, if I just start to analyze people time goes by faster and I become less upset at things that are happening. Psychology is therapeutic. Who knew? Haha! I seriously am hungry though. I wasn’t kidding when I said that earlier. All this sidetracking myself from my hunger (and homework) is not working. Procrastination. It’s … eh. I’ll tell you later. I think it would be so funny to just talk to someone to see just how awkward you could make them feel. Not by saying anything out of line or personal or anything, just saying everyday casual small talk things really closely or intensely, with your eyes really wide. Would they just stare? Have you ever purposely put something on your face to see who your real friends are? Haha I know I’ve let some of my own friends walk around with stuff on their faces just to see how long it takes them to notice. True friends will point those things out right away. But REAL friends will laugh at you behind your back and wait for you to realize what an idiot you look like. Haha! :) Well.. that’s all folks.

Guess Who......

Who has two thumbs, is 22 years old, owns all 3 seasons of Animaniacs, Knows how to do Hannah Montana's Hoe-Down Throw Down dance, can juggle, does the Rubik's cube, built a zip line in the backyard, fell through two roofs in the last year, can eat an entire package of Oreo's, attracts boys under 10 years old or over 60 years old, can't walk without falling or tripping, Won a car, steals their little brother's clothes, can quote The Princess Bride all the way through & word for word, plays the harmonica and piano by ear, loves to draw, sculpt, and paint, loves music, wants to fly to Neverland, likes to pick up accents, Jumps on the bed, and apparently can't sleep tonight?

This Girl!

A fate worse than death...

WAITING!!!!!

Need I say more?

I submit that I do not.

Why Having a Toddler is like being at a Frat Party

10. There are half-full, brightly-colored plastic cups on the floor in every room. Three are in the bathtub.
9. There’s always that one girl, bawling her eyes out in a corner.
8. It’s best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function.
7. You sneak off to the bathroom knowing that as soon as you sit down, someone’s going to start banging on the door.
6. Probably 80% of the stains on the furniture contain DNA.
5. You’ve got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink.
4. There’s definitely going to be a fight.
3. You’re not sure whether anything you’re doing is right, you just hope it won’t get you arrested.
2. There are crumpled-up underpants everywhere.
1. You wake up wondering exactly how and when the person in bed with you got there.