Dun Dun Dunnnnnnn

So it is just turning midnight my time and I’m still awake. But everyone says that is typical for college students anyways to never get sleep. I’m adjusting to the norm, trying to lay low and fit in. So even after all the lectures adults try to give kids about how important sleeping is and how you can only grow while you’re sleeping. Dude I say that is false. I’ve been sleeping for over 19 years now and I have yet to hit 6 feet in height. That would present some problems though because if I were to be 6 feet even though I’d have the advantage of being able to reach the top shelves and never having to get a ladder I’d risk the possibility of dating men shorter than me (which I’ve done and it just doesn’t work for me. I’m short. He needs to be taller than me. I mean seriously someone has to block all the sun from getting in my eyes). What would the world be like without tall boys to assist girls in that way? I submit that it wouldn’t be a very worthwhile one. Plus by being abnormally tall I’d also risk having a long neck. For some reason I’m picturing abnormally large women as having long necks. And I’m talking these are necks that even scarves or neck braces couldn’t cover up. Those girls pretty much have only one option in life; to paint brown spots on themselves, find a tall tree from which to forage and get in the giraffe pen in the zoo. I have been to a zoo a couple times. The one time I went in Kindergarten I wore these overalls and my Phoenix Suns hat because they’re my favorite team still even though they lost Charles Barkley when I was young. Tragedy. Mucho Grande. Oh back to the zoo... Well this goat tried to eat me. I’ve heard goats eat everything and you always see them in movies eating cans and stuff, well it tried to eat me. Speaking of eating I am hungry hold on I’m going to go get some chips. Ok I’m back now. I really love barbeque chips they are so good!! When I’m at home I’d have to 007 it and hide with my beloved bag of delectable crunchiness but here I can eat the entire bag all by myself. Without my father waiting until I’m not looking and grabbing the bag and literally stuffing the entire thing in his mouth just so I can’t have any. What a jerk. I learned how to do a Rubick’s cube a while ago and one I learned, other people who also learned would go out and get like a 4x4 or a 5x5 which is bigger than the normal 3x3 cube (which I can do.) so I decided that all those who did that are just trying to show off. I mean seriously if you can do a freaking Rubick’s cube to begin with you are impressive. (I know this because I can do one). It’s just beyond showing off and has reached a potentially dangerous level. They should be flogged on sight and rapidly lashed with 30 tubes of tide to go. That stuff is amazingly genius. My friend had a chocolate fountain at her wedding and kept spilling it on her white dress... genius... No one could tell thanks to the amazing tide to go! If/when I get married I’m going to have to buy the company or something because even though my mother says I won’t have a chocolate fountain, I will. By the love I have for chocolate coating on edible things I swear it. I went to this reception once and they had a POTATO BAR!!! They had these amazing little cup thingies and various topping of which to apply to your scooped potatoes! I’m so going to have one of those in my house. Right next to the cookie bar and my own personal Wendy’s/Panda Express. (Hey they do it with A&W all the time why not Wendy’s and Panda? Did you notice those two boxing Panda’s on the Panda Express doors are the exact same but with different color shorts? Curse those lazy advertisers for their lack of originality. I think they should make them first different Pandas and then give them both a personality. They are fighting for two different types of chickens so why not? Well this is extremely long. Fun stuff. So if you actually read this whole thing just let me know and I’ll apologize for this lameness. I know I’m nowhere near as cool as Rufio! =)